Audio Assault came to Michigan and saw the seemingly giant Hockey arena. We played. We conquered.
First of all, let me say that waking up at 7:30am is not on my list of favorite things to do but, alas, for the 2nd weekend in a row, I found myself waking up at an unmentionable hour to get ready for a bout. When I went to sleep the night before, I thought for sure I would never get out of bed in time, however, the excitement of bout day got me up and ready on time. I scored an awesome car pool with Taking Names and Teeny Houdini. I was pumped because they know all sorts of good stuff about derby and I’m always itching to ask questions and learn more. The drive up to Kalamazoo went without excitement. Some wind, and a bit of snow upon entering Michigan.
Upon arriving at the hotel we realized we’d scored a sweet location. The hotel was within walking distance of both the venue and the after party! We settled in, ate some “linner” (my word for lunch/dinner) at a family restaurant (complete with paper advertisement placemats and rotating pie display). Then we started getting ready for the bout. Some took longer than others to get ready so the lucky ones that didn’t take long got to relax and take short nap. I won’t name Names on who took the longest…
The venue was fantastic. It was an Ice Hockey arena that had sport court laid down for the track. I know my parents commented that the seats were quite comfortable. I really liked the feel of the track. It didn’t feel too slippery, although at times it did feel a bit stickier and slower than I would have liked. We were also given two private locker rooms but, since NEO is a family, we decided to stick together in one. Killamazoo was kind enough to have a pasta buffet for us prior to the bout. It was delicious and hard not to eat too much but we had to keep in mind that we had a bout to play!
The first bout was crazy! So many ups and downs and penalties, oh my! We got off to a quick lead when the Killa Crew jammer got sent to the box in the first jam of the bout. MorgueN Donor, Crossbone Cutie, Honky-Tonk Hellion, and Devouher were able to put enough bodies on the floor to get Audio Assault 10 quick points. However, the tide quickly turned as our jammers got sent to the box in both of the next two jams. Audio Assault jammers Rosa Mariposa, Amber Zerker, Kitty Black, and Olive Pain spent the rest of the half trying to chip away at Killa Crew’s lead. Blockers Vodka Voom, Valerie Walker, and Vanity Scare were able to deliver some great blocks to help their jammers and keep the Killa Crew jammers in the pack. Once again, it was power jams that helped Audio Assault even out the score by half time with Audio Assault leading 80 to 70.
After half time both teams spent plenty of time in the box. Rarely did either team have five players on the track at one time. Penalties proved costly for both teams as Killa Crew regained the lead during a costly power jam for Audio Assault. During the next 22 minutes the score went back, forth, and tied eight times. Then with ten seconds left on the clock, Audio Assault called a strategic time out to force one more jam. We were down by five points! With two blockers in the box, Audio Assault put Wes Cravin Brains and Rosa Mariposa in to block. The Killa Crew jammer committed her fourth minor on her initial pass, creating a power jam. Rosa and Wes were able to keep the pack slow and create a no-pack which allowed Audio Assault to easily score the six points needed to win the bout!!
Needless to say everyone on the Audio Assault bench went crazy. Lots of jumping up and down, hugging, and clapping ensued. This was the second bout we’d had that come down to the final jam in the past year. We managed to walk away with wins both times. No one can say that we don’t fight or that we buckle under pressure. We come out fighting, we leave fighting, and I couldn’t be prouder of Audio Assault. When I left Michigan I was 10 times prouder of my derby sisters and 10 times gladder to be a part of the NEO family than when I entered the state. We came, we saw, and we conquered.
Elektra Magneto
02052012 BH B Cup Part 10 of 11, a set by McMoosie on Flickr.
Some photos from B - Cup via Bruce Berna!!
February has flown by! With derby nearly every weekend it’s hard to believe it’s been almost a month since Audio Assault traveled to Bloomington to participate in the B-Cup Tournament.
First of all, B-Cup was AMAZING!! Audio Assault went with 11 girls although we only played 10 in each of the 3 bouts we played that weekend.
Our first bout was against Grand Raggidy G-Rap Attack. We played them last summer and were anxious for a rematch. Audio Assault has improved so much in the past months that we were sure this time we stood a chance. The bout started off rough for us. By half time we were down 129 to 13. The second half, we refocused and turned things around. The final score was 186 to 83, Grand Raggidy. Our goal for the second half was to not loose by more than 100. We came awfully close! When we played Grand Raggidy last year we lost by 116, we decreased the point spread by 13 points.
Since we lost our first bout on Saturday, we were done bouting for the day. We spent the rest of the day watching other teams.
Sunday we got up early to play Circle City Party Crashers. We showed off our great team work and beat Circle City 196 to 47. Since I’ve been on Audio Assault, we’ve never had such a resounding victory. It felt good to finally be the one on top. After that bout we were all on cloud nine. However, our victory celebration couldn’t last long because we had to get ready to bout Black-n-Bluegrass Shiners. We had about an hour between bouts to get our energy back. We fought hard against Black-n-Bluegrass, but couldn’t get a lead. We got down in points, closed the gap by half time, but couldn’t keep closing in. We lost 180-149. We looked on the bright side though; we played Black-n-Bluegrass last year and decreased the point spread by 49 points.
After a weekend of derby and a five hour drive, I’m pretty sure most of us took Monday off. Our bodies may have felt terrible on Monday, but we should have been very proud of ourselves. With only playing 10 girls in each bout, we played 3 bouts in 2 days, and did fantastic! Watch out derby world, Audio Assault is on the loose and ready to make ourselves known!
On Saturday, February 11, 2012, NEO Roller Derby’s “Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls” started their morning traveling through the worst snow storm of the season, on treacherous roads to bout the Little Steel Derby Girls (from Youngstown, Ohio) “Lawless Rollers” in Little Steel’s first WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) mock sanctioned bout. The Little Steel Derby Girls are a WFTDA apprentice league. The apprentice program is designed to take WFTDA inspired leagues through the process of joining the association by completing several tasks, which includes hosting mock sanctioned bouts with WFTDA member leagues. NEO Roller Derby was proud to help their little sisters complete one of their tasks.
The Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls (RnR) were facing multiple challenges with several veteran skaters, such as Carmella the Crusher (CC), Monty PipeBomb, Rosa Mariposa, Truly Outrageous, and Twin Pistol unable to skate. Their short roster of 9 skaters consisted of both veteran and rookie RnR skaters. As they stood in their sisterly circle before the game started, they knew that regardless of all that was working against them, they were there to show their little sisters how RnR rolls as a team.
From the impressive jamming of Holley Car Brader and Elektra Magneto, to the hard hitting pack action of Taking Names, Wes Cravin Brainz, Sicilian Slicer, CrossBone Cutie and Kitty Black, to the booty blocking of Olive Pain and Teeny Houdini, the Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls pulled together as a team and played one of their most impressive offensive and defensive games to date. The final score was NEO 243, Little Steel 65. The teams got to pick an opposing jammer and blocker Most Valuable Player for the bout. Little Steel chose Holley Car Brader as Jammer MVP and Taking Names for the Blocker MVP, however NEO felt every skater on the team was an MVP that evening. The Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls awarded Little Steel’s MVP Jammer to Leannibal Lecter and the MVP Blocker to Ground Zero.
RnR wasn’t expecting such a big gap in the score, as the Lawless Rollers consists of many talented skaters and derby players. This bout proved to everyone on NEO that the hard work of their coaches, Alchemist Prime and Rich Ratcliff, and the captains of both teams, is continuing to pay off. Anyone witnessing this bout wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between the veteran or rookie Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls.
Next up, the Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls will be taking on the Burning River All-Stars in a WFTDA Sanctioned Bout, and Audio Assault will be taking on the Burning River HazMat Team on February 26, 2012 at 10:15 at the Pla-Mor Roller Rink in Euclid.
Saturday, January 21st found NEO Roller Derby in Fort Wayne, IN at our very first bout of the season, against the Fort Wayne Derby Girls. Audio Assault (AA) and the Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls (RnR) made the trek to the beautiful Allen County War Memorial Coliseum for a double header.
The first bout of the night was Audio Assault taking on the girls of S.W.A.T. AA looked great in their purple jerseys and fought tooth and nail, unfortunately is wasn’t enough to forge off S.W.A.T. who has several veteran skaters on their team. Final score AA 60 – S.W.A.T. 193.
The second match up between the Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls and FWDG’s Bomb Squad was a long anticipated one by the girls of RnR. We’ve skated against S.W.A.T., before we were members of the WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association), but this was our first sanctioned game against the Bomb Squad. We were super excited to skate against them. However, we found ourselves outmatched, final score NEO 80 – Bomb Squad 204.
This may sound like a pretty big loss, but we actually did pretty well. Coming into the night, Flat Track Stats www.flattrackstats.com had RnR losing at a margin of 8 points to every 33 scored by the Bomb Squad. Fort Wayne scored a ratio of 20:8. This is 126 game points short of the expected ratio of 33:8. Even though we lost the bout, we did better than what was anticipated, actually moving up 11.5 points taking us from 99th place to 94th. Fort Wayne ranked 48th before the bout, dropped to 51st. Considering we were playing with a very short roster and against a very tough competitor who is ranked significantly higher than us, we are very proud of ourselves and had a great time in Fort Wayne.
The next bout for Audio Assault is February 4th & 5th in Bloomington, IN, where they will participate in their first tournament, The B-Cup. It’s sure to be an exciting weekend with lots of thrills and spills. Rock ‘n’ Roller Girls will be taking on sister league, Little Steel Derby Girls in a closed bout on February 11th.
